Siegfried and I
by TrulySheena
Summary: One day,I visited the Lakeside Coliseum,and my whole life changed.Now I'm on a journey with him to destroy the Soul Edge inside me...but there's one problem:I'm in love with Siegfried!
1. OMG,It's Siegfried!

**TrulySheena:Hey!Another fanfiction!**

**AppleGell:Now you have three!**

**AnimeGirl51:Finally!**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:Except this time it's about-**

**PotoSynthesis:(Imitates Tira's Voice):Soul Calibur...Threeee!**

**TrulySheena:I'm going to have lots of guest stars,except I'm going to use their real names in the fanfiction!Like Justin and Danielle!**

**TrulySheena's Author's Note Friends:(Clap!Clap!Clap!)Yay!**

**Siegfried:You!The demon that is possessed by Soul Edge...prepare to be obliterated by my blade!**

**TrulySheena:SIEGFRIED!I LOVE YOU!**

**Siegfried:Prepare to die!(Runs after TrulySheena).**

**TrulySheena:Oh my god,he's chasing ME!He's chasing ME!**

**KillerKomedy:Is she happy or is she scared?**

**The-Assassin-Sheena:I dunno whether to call the cops or just let them be.**

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Kara was watching the daily tournament held everyday at the Lakeside Coliseum.A familiar,dirty brown haired,huge ass sword carrying guy came out into the arena.

"GO SIEGFRIED!"Kara shouted above the rest of the crowd.When she shouted that,he looked at her.He was defeating many opponents,but something made Kara feel that he was watching _her_.You see,Kara has loved Siegfried ever since she's seen her first tournament,which he was in.Now that he is actually noticing her,she's basically crying in the audience.

After defeating all of the opponents,Siegfried stayed in the arena,while everyone else left.Kara stayed.She felt as if she shouldn't leave anyway.

This was her chance to bag him!

"You...you're one of Soul Edge!"He shouted at her.

_What the fuck?_Kara thought._Oh well,at least he's talking to me!_

"Why did you choose that path!Why are you one of them!"He began to walk closer.

Kara finally realized what he was talking about."Ooohh...Now I know what you're talking about!"

"Stop playing these games!If you don't tell me,I will kill you!"

"I...uh...I chose it because..."Kara stuttered.

Siegfried was walking closer and closer.Kara realized that he is one impatient son of a bitch and said,

"I chose it because it was red!"

Then it was silent.Kara had an obsession over the color red,so I guess that was a reasonable explanation.After all,Soul Calibur's blue.Blue's not red now,is it?Anyway...

Kara told Siegfried how much she liked him,and that if there was anyway she would travel with him,she would take it.He told her they could travel together as long as he frees her of Soul Edge.

"Ummm...I'll get back to you on that."She said,and pulled out a quarter."Let's flip a coin!Heads is you,Tails is the red sword!"Kara flipped the coin.It landed on tails,and Kara froze as if Siegfried just dumped her._Damn!I should've said both were traveling with him...Oh well.A red sword does way less things than a hot guy can do..._

"Well?What did it land on?"

"It landed on Heads!"Kara switched the coin around and showed it to him."See!"

Because Siegfried has such frigging long hair,he couldn't see Kara turn the coin around,even though her hands were practically on his face.

"Fine.Let us go now."

"YAAAAY!Can I have a hug?"

"No."Siegfried walked up ahead.

"Can I have a kiss?"

"No."He walked forward,Kara chasing after him.

"Can I have a piggyback ride?"

"Why?"

"So I can smell your hair.You're wearing herbal essences,aren't you?I bet I know which one!"

"How can you tell?"Siegfried said,trying to run away from his new stalker and partner.

"Because it's Herbal Essences with Hawafena,Sunflower Extract,Rosemary,and Oat Protein!"Kara only knows this from seeing it in her cabinet every day.

"Girls now scare me."Eventually,Siegfried had a plan.They will go to Orthreinsburg Castle,and find clues to help them find Soul Edge to destroy it.So eventually,they got to Orthreinsburg Castle.

"Hey,Siegfried!"Kara pointed at a raft floating in the river."Let's go on this seemingly unstable raft that goes around in pointless circles around the castle!"

"Why?"Siegfried began to turn around and pointed at something else."Why don't we just take the bridge into the castle?"

"Because I've never been on a seemingly unstable raft that goes around in pointless circles around a castle!Have you?"

"No."

"Fine,let's go!"Before Siegfried could say no,he was already on the raft.So floating around in circles,they were bored.Well,Siegfried was bored.All of a sudden,a familiar song came on.It was the beat to "I'm in Love with a Stripper."Worse yet,the beat came on when Tira showed up.

Kara points at Tira and shouts,"AAAAH!WHAT'RE THOSE!"Siegfried realizes that she is pointing at Tira's breasts.

"Oh,these...HeeHeeHee!These are my P-Cups!You wanna see them shake?"Tira runs toward Siegfried and one hits him in the face and knocks him in the water.Siegfried sits in the water,dazed as he floats away from the raft.

"NOOOO!SIEGFRIED!COME BACK!"Shouted Kara _and_ Tira.They looked at each other.

"BITCH!"They both said.

"Shut up,you bird!"Kara said,meaning the "slut" meaning of bird,not the animal.

"Why thank you,I fly with flocks of them."Tira said,doing that creepy laugh.

"Yeah,on a street corner!"Now,Tira was mad.

"You bitch...you're so unlucky that I know what turns Siegfried on the most!"

Kara gasped!She didn't even know what that was!

"Hey,Siegfried...I got a little sweet something for you!"Tira pulled Siegfried out of the water."I've got you some..."She began to whisper some sweet-somethings in his ear,and his face slowly lit up."But most of all,I have...grapejuice."

Siegfried started jumping up and down like a little bitch when she said that.

Then Kara realized what she meant by grapejuice...the purple tatoos on her body!"Siegfried's not gonna eat you,Tira!"Kara ran up to Tira and pushed her into the water."BITCH!"And then Tira shrieked as she disappeared under the water-

"I'm MELTING!I'M MELTING!"Kara left and pulled Siegfried and they went back onto land.

"Damn it,Siegfried.Why'd you have to tell me to go on the seemingly unstable raft that goes around in pointless circles around the castle?"

"I didn't!"Siegfried decided to give up.It seems Kara's hatred for her favorite female Soul Calibur character,Tira,now lasted forever just because she came onto Siegfried.In front of Kara.

"You know what?"Kara said.

"What?"

"Let's go walk around for no reason until we find something."

"Fine by me."

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**TrulySheena:First Chapter is finished!TIIIRAAA!I HATE YOU!TrulySheena starts to cryS-Siegf-fried...I-I can't believe you let her hit you like t-that...**

**PotoSynthesis:Well,now you can officially call Tira's breasts a weapon.**

**KillerKomedy:Finally!My lifelong dream!**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:...?Who are you?**

**AnimeGirl51:You're...TrulySheena's friend from school,right?She told me that you're a square enix fanatic.You suck!You're supposed to be Namco!They did make Tales of Symphonia and Soul Calibur.**

**TrulySheena/KillerKomedy:We don't suck!**

**Siegfried:I didn't mean for that vile girl to hit me that way.I'm...sorry.**

**Everyone except TrulySheena,who is smiling:GASP!SIEGFRIED HAS REGRET!**

**AppleGell:Call headquarters!We've discovered something else about Siegfried!He has FEELINGS!**

**The-Assassin-Sheena:Hurry!What's the number to 911!**

**Everyone else except TrulySheena and Siegfried:I dunno!**

**TrulySheena:Well,see you in Chapter 2!**


	2. FOOD!

**TrulySheena:Yay!Chappie 2!**

**Siegfried:It's time for our triumphant return.**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:From where?**

**TrulySheena:From what we thought was PizzaHut...**

**PotoSynthesis:Siegfried,what the fuck happened to your hair?**

**NyaGirl51:Points at Siegfried's hairHAHAHAHAHA!**

**TrulySheena:DON'T REMIND ME!**

**applegell:What happened?**

**The-Assassin-Sheena:Comes from playing ToS and eating a sandwhichWhat's up,gelli-WHAT THE HELL?**

**KillerKomedy:Finishes writing fanfictionHey,what happened after you guys left Orthreinsburg Castle?**

**Siegfried:Yes..anyway...**

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Kara and Siegfried left the castle.Kara was too pissed off at Tira to look around.They were walking around in a random meadow that really had no importance to anything whatsoever.

"I'm so mad,that I'm hungry."Kara said,walking around,looking for something to eat."What do you guys eat on quests,anyway?"

Siegfried looked around,and answered."Other people."

Kara shouted."WHHHAAAAATTT!"Kara just thought of how it would be to eat Siegfried's arm.

"Of course.What do you think happens to the people after you kick their ass in a battle?"

Kara gasped."But...how does Voldo eat!"

"Who the hell is Voldo?"

_Oh wait,_she thought._We didn't meet Voldo on the quest yet!_"Hmmm...anyway...Siegfried,can i have a piggyback ride now?"

"I dunno.Maybe."

"REALLY!OMGOMGOMGOMG!"_That was a sign!YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!_

But all hell is about to break loose.As Kara was jumping up and down like a Kratos (Tales of Symphonia) Fangirl,Siegfried saw a figure in the distance.

Red Dress.

Blonde Pigtails.

Circular Blade.

She looked very familiar,but Siegfried didn't realize who it was until Kara said,

"Bitch,what did I tell you about coming near my guy?"

It was Tira.

"Excuse _me_,"Tira said."I'm only here to get my revenge!A dumb fuck like you pushed me into the water,caused my hair color to come out,knocked all of the custom made grapejuice tatoos off my body,and worst of all,MY PURPLE CONTACTS CAME OUT!"

Tira ran over to Siegfried."Weeheehee,Ring around the rosie,pockets full of posies,ashes,ashes,your hair falls out!"Tira pulled Siegfried and CHOPPED off his hair.Now he looked like himself from his second costume.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..."Screamed Siegfried.

Tira ran away,waving his hair around like a maniac,doing that creepy 'weeheehee' laugh.Again.

"Siegfried,what's wrong?You look good with short hair!"Said Kara,obviously swooning over his short hair.

Siegfried started to cry._Oh no!_Kara thought._This must be really bad!_

"Siegfried!Siegfried!Why are you crying?Is it because of your hair?"

Siegfried looked up and pulled out a reciept from a pharmacy.Down the list it says-

Hrbl.Essnc.-3.49

Hrbl.Essnc.-3.49

Hrbl.Essnc.-3.49

Hrbl.Essnc.-3.49

etc...

Total Cost-$1048.99

"Siegfried,what does this have to do with what's going on now?"

"Because...sniff...I bought these all right before yesterday's tournament...And now...sniff...I CAN'T USE THEM!"Siegfried bawled.That was officially creeping Kara out.

"But Siegfried,you can use them!You just can't use a bottle a day!"

"Yeah,but...a bottle a day keeps the dandruff away..."Siegfried mumbled.

"Hmmm..you're right.Fuck.Anyway,how much money do you have left?"

Siegfried looked in his wallet."1 cent."

"And how much is your paycheck?"Kara was really getting annoyed._What kind of warrior spends all his money on hair products?_

"Hmmm...$1049.00."

Siegfried got up.He didn't appear to be crying no more."Let's go kill someone.I'm hungry."

"NOOOO!Let's go to that pizzeria over there!"

Siegfried looked confused._What the hell is pizza?_He thought."Well...since when did you notice this _pizzeria_?

"When Tira ran toward it.That bitch.I got an idea.Let's kill her,boil her in a pot,stuff her in the oven,slice her up,and then throw her in the garbage!"

"But that won't stop us from being hungry."

"DAMN IT!"

They walked onto the pizzeria.There were two next door to each other.Kara and Siegfried walked into the first one.Behind the counter,they saw Tira.In the backround,the song "Don't you Wish your Girlfriend was Hot like Me,"was in the backround.

"Weeheehee,welcome to PizzaSlut."

"Wasn't this place called Pizza_Hut?_Kara also noticed that Tira's _blonde_ hair seemed _longer_."Doesn't your blonde hair seem longer?

"Weeheehee,oh yes.Don't you see my new extensions.I just got them about 10 minutes ago.And this place was never PizzaHut.Does this shit look like a hut to you?"Tira said,and you can obviously tell because of the 'weeheehee.'

Kara looked at her,then at Siegfried."Bring a pie to our table."Kara and Siegfried walked all the way to the table in the back of the pizzeria.Siegfried was looking in a handheld mirror.

"Hmm,check me out.I'm Mr.SexyMan,alright."The people sitting behind them made a "O.O" face.Kara smiled and waved back at them.

"Oh yes,you are Siegfried.Yes you are."Kara said,holding onto Siegfried's arm and leaning against him.

Tira came over to the table.Obviously mad seeing Kara sitting so close to Siegfried,she threw the pie down onto the table,making it flash up and hit everyone at the table.Fortunately for Siegfried and Kara,they were looking in Siegfried's mirror.Tira got the pizza all over her face.

"NOOOOO!I'm MELTING!I'm MELTING!"Literally,her face was melting.

During Tira's screaming,a white piece of paper fell out from her hands.The paper flew in front of Siegfried.His eyes widened.

A reciept.

Now Siegfried and Tira were both screaming.

"I KNEW THIS PLACE HAD BAD SERVICE!SIEGFRIED,LET'S GO!"

"RECIEPTS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...!"Reciepts had officially scarred him.

They decided to walk to the pizzeria next door.

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**TrulySheena:YAY!THE STORY'S FINALLY MOVING ALONG!And better yet,TIRA GOT HER ASS WHUPPED BY PIZZA!**

**Siegfried:The reciept...waaah...**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:Wow...that was...creepy.**

**Sheelosluver 12345:Hi guys!When am I coming in?**

**KillerKomedy:Yeah,me too!When am I coming?**

**PotoSynthesis:Coming in...where?0.0**

**applegell:AAAAH P.S. Perverted thoughts!Perverted thoughts!**

**The-Assassin-Sheena:You're a sheena fan too,Sheelosluver 12345?YAY!TRULYSHEENA,SHE'S JOINING OUR SHEENA GROUP!**

**NyaGirl51:NOOOO!BRING UP ToS THINGS IN A ToS FANFICTION!**

**KillerKomedy/Sheelosluver:Umm..hello?**

**TrulySheena:You guys are coming in the next chapter,See you guys in the next chapter,Byez!**


	3. Yay New Party Members!

**TrulySheena:Chapter 3!HOORAY!**

**Sheelosluver 12345:I luff Crispin,too!Hugs a Crispin Doll**

**Siegfried:Wha-**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:LOL!**

**PotoSynthesis:Tell her off,Sheelos!TELL HER OFF!SHE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES HIM!**

**Sheelosluver 12345:XD,I luff Crispin along with TrulySheena.**

**NyaGirl51:Wow,this is crazy!Nya!Sings Japanese Symphonia ThemeYozora no Kakeru...**

**KillerKomedy:Weren't you the one who said in the last chapter...QUOTENOOOO!BRING UP ToS THINGS IN A ToS FANFICTION!UNQUOTE.**

**applegell:Hmmm...this is some party!Brings out drinksPARTY!PARTY!**

**KillerKomedy:I'll get the stripper!pulls out phone and dials Tira's number.**

**The-Assassin-Sheena:ToS PARTY!ToS PARTY!WOOT WOOT!Brings out the apple gels and orange gelsLook gelli!We're eating you!**

**applegell:AAAAHH!XD**

**Everyone but Kara/Siegfried:XD!**

**Siegfried:What does "XD" mean anyway...**

**TrulySheena:Let's please get on with the story...**

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Siegfried and Kara walked next door to the other pizzeria.Kara looked up at the pizzeria sign.

"Dominhoes...I'm not so sure about this."Kara was still hungry,though,and walked inside with Siegfried.

"Hey,Kara..."Siegfried said."Tira was wearing my hair,wasn't she?"

Kara clenched her fists."Yes.I'm gonna get them back for you,Siegfried."

"Thank you.But we should wait until it grows back,don't you think?"

As they were walking inside,they heard another song.The song was "Beep."

Girl?Mercenary:Do the pizzerias here like PussyCat Dolls or what?

Boy?Mercenary:I know I do...hehehe.

Siegfried and Kara walked up to the counter.The girl behind the counter looked strangely familiar.Again._Oh god,a replay of what happened just 10 minutes ago..._Kara thought.Siegfried decided to actually go sit down before the girl saw him.

"Wlcmf noo domfinhods-UMFF AGANFF!(Welcome to Dominhoes-YOU AGAIN!)"The girl who was yelling at Kara had bandages wrapped around her entire head besides her blonde pigtails.Kara couldn't help but laugh at Tira and then realized-

"Tira,how did you get here that fast,manage to put bandages on your face,and manage to change clothes in like 1 minute?"

"UMFF DA FUMP FUFF!(SHUT THE FUCK UP!)"The boy mercenary walked by,singing the song.

_"I try real hard but I'm looking at your-_FACE!"He pointed at Tira,but Tira couldn't see."HAHAHAHAHA!

The mercenary girl came over."XD"She said (is that even possible?).Siegfried was at the table,being bored.

"Tira,I could've sworn this place was called Dominoes...,"Kara said,slowly taking out Siegfried's hair extension.

"Weeheehee...Dus dis pllampe ook ok a nomino oo ou?(Weeheehee...Does this place look like a domino to you?)

Kara and the mercenaries went back Siegfried's table,his hair held triumphantly in Kara's hand.They all hung out for awhile.The boy mercenary's name was Justin,and the girl mercenary's name was Sarah.

Tira came over again.She was going to drop pizza on the table again,except she was going to succeed.Sadly,Justin pulled out his secret weapon-a pinwheel!

"Take this!"Said Tira,dropping the pizza on the table.

Justin pulled out his pinwheel and blew.The wind from the surprisingly strong pinwheel knocked the pizza back onto Tira's face.

"MMMPHH UMMPH AHMPUHF!"Tira screamed from inside her bandages.

Sarah smiled and "XD" again.

"G'dem!"Siegfried shouted out of nowhere."Yo,he played you!"We all started laughing and then as Tira rolled in pain on the floor,shouting "OMPF DOMF ROW!" which translated to "STOP DROP ROLL!"Justin and Sarah decided to tell us about stuff.

"Well..."Justin said."I became a mercenary because my girlfriend was raped by her father.So she payed me to kill him.It was fun!"Kara and Siegfried looked at Sarah.

"XD,"She said."It wasn't me,XD.Hey,will someone kick that girl so she'll stop rolling around?"Justin was too busy playing with the pinwheel.

"Hey,you know what?"Sarah said."Kara,let's beat her up.After all,she likes Siegfried,and we luff Crispin Freeman..soo..."

Sometime later...

"Kara and Sarah are kicking Tira,"Siegfried mumbled.

"Hey!That's almost rhymes!"Shouted Justin.

"And this...Kickis for hitting him with your chest!KickKara said,inbetween kicks.

"This...is for...Kick for coming onto one of Crispin Freeman's characters!Kick"Sarah also said.Then together,Kara and Sarah did a stomp onto Tira's body.

STOMP!STOMP!STOMP!

Tira stopped moving.Then Kara and Sarah started to sing.

"Woohoo,the bitch is dead,the bitch is dead,HOORAY!"

"Anyway..."Sarah said."Back to what we were talking about..."

So Kara said,"Well,who is your girlfriend,Justin?"

Justin took out a picture.The picture was of Amy,Raphael's daughter."Isn't that Amy?"Siegfried said.

"Yeah,the girl who sounds like Colette from ToS,but she looks like she could be Kratos' daughter."

"Kratos...XD,Colette...XD."For some reason,all Sarah ever said was XD.Wow.Scary.

All of a sudden,a thought bubble with NyaGirl51 comes out of nowhere and pops up in everyone's heads.."DON'T BRING UP ToS THINGS IN A SOUL CALIBUR FANFICTION...fanfiction...fanfiction..."

Sarah,her quiet ass self,again spoke one word...or two letters...or something."XD."But then,she spoke again!"Let's all go partying!Let's get drunk and drive around!

Siegfried looked up."What's _driving_?"Then Sarah and Justin took Siegfried and Kara out to a bar.

XXX Later that night XXX

Amy is driving,and she is really drunk.Justin is sitting in the passenger's seat,and he's pretty twisted,too.Kara and Siegfried are making out in the back seat.Sarah is tied to the back seat,she had a blindfold over her mouth,and her eyes are taped open in order to watch.Also,they picked up Kara's friend Danielle.

"Hey..guysshh..."Amy mumbled.

"Yo,bittcchhh...you'rreee dummbbb dhrunk..."Spoke Justin."Ohhh...lookkss at the prettyfull lightsh!"Justin pointed at the light on his watch.

Amy ignored him.Siegfried and Kara were making out in the back seat.And better yet,they WEREN'T drunk!Hooray!Anyway,Amy pulled out a piece of paper with lots of phone numbers on it.

"Hey guyssh!Guysshhh!"Kara and Siegfried looked up."Look at all sha numbersh i got!I'm funken all theshe girlsh tonite with Jushtin!"

"Amy...,you sick twisted bitch!"Kara said."THOSE ARE MY NUMBERS!"

Amy looked in a daze for a second."I guesshh we're funken u guysh tonite!"And Amy climbed into the back seat!

Sarah screamed with the blindfold over her mouth."MMMMFFF MFFFF MOFGHFMF!"Danielle stood staring agape and said,"Cool!No one's driving!And Danielle jumped into the front seat.

"COOL!I'M UNDERAGED AND I'M DRIVING!WOOHOO!"Danielle spun the car out of control.Amy,who's too busy trying to get free sex,shouts to Danielle."Dani-Yell!

I LUFF YOU!"

Danielle stopped the car."Okay,this is getting out of hand.First of all,there are no CARS in Soul Calibur!"For some reason when she said that,the car broke down.Then it dissappeared.

_What the hell?_

Anyway,the 6 of us had a plan.We will kill Abyss to get Soul Edge out of Kara!

So we went out on a quest to kill Abyss.

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**TrulySheena:This was funny.It was like a real life crossover!**

**Sheelosluver 12345:YAY!XD I was in it!**

**KillerKomedy:Yeah,me too!PINWHEEL OF DEATH!**

**Siegfried:Now we are literally on a quest.**

**NyaGirl51:A quest to save the chosen of regeneration!**

**Everyone but NyaGirl51:Stares**

**NyaGirl51:Okay,I'm going to walk away now...**

**PotoSynthesis:Let's sign a petition for underage driving!**

**Amy:YEAH!**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:Can I be in it too?**

**TrulySheena:Umm okay.SO MANY PARTY MEMBERS!**

**applegell:DID I HEAR PARTY!**

**The-Assassin-Sheena:ToS PARTY!ToS PARTY!YAY!**

**TrulySheena/Siegfried:See you guys in Chapter 4!Byez!**


	4. Oasis

**TrulySheena:I've made so many fanfictions recently,I haven't been able to finish this one!Here we go!**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:Yay!More fanfictions!More fanfictions!I'm in this one!**

**PotoSynthesis:You know,I still don't know what's going on in the story.**

**Sheelosluver 12345:LET'S HAVE A PARTY TO CELEBRATE!**

**applegell:YA!**

**The-Assassin-Sheena:Yay!More parties!**

**NyaGirl51:Remember,this can't be a ToS party unless we're in a ToS fanfiction...AND IF KRATOS IS THERE!**

**Siegfried:Umm...okay.**

**KillerKomedy:Does Tira return?**

**TrulySheena:I dunno,find out!**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------**

Kara's new party consisted of Siegfried,Sarah,and Justin,her new friends.They had recently begun their journey trying to find a way to save Kara's soul from Soul Edge,but it didn't appear as if anything was helping.

"It doesn't appear as if anything's helping!"Kara said,bored from walking around and around and around.

"Well,in Soul Calibur 3,right before you fight Abyss,you see Setsuka.So..."Explained Justin."That means we should go to Jurakudai Villa."

Everyone looked at Justin and nodded their heads.Sarah turned around."What's Soul Calibur 3?"

Everyone stopped walking and thought for a second."I dunno!"Then they kept on walking.

"Does that mean that there are 3 Soul Calibur swords?"Sarah spoke.

"No!That's impossible!"Siegfried said,obviously thinking of his own sword,and a way to grow back his hair.

The 4 walked and walked,trying to get to Jurakudai Villa.It was atleast 12 miles from where they were at.

"Hey,Sarah..."Kara said,while riding on Siegfried's back.

"Ya?"Sarah had her hand on her head and walking by Justin,who was on a horse.He was holding his head too.

"How come you stopped XDing?"

"I only XD when I'm drunk.OwwOwwOww!"Sarah winced.She had a huge hangover.

Justin looked up from his hangovered head."So you were drunk the whole time?You're the kind of party girl I like!"

Siegfried was oddly quiet.The others didn't even bother to talk to him.Who wanted to talk to a man who took care of his hair better than his girlfriend took care of hers?Well,they did..but..uh..okay,I dunno where I'm going with this.Anyway...

"We're going to chop him up and eat him."

"WHAT!"Everyone shouted.

"We're going to chop him up and eat _him_."Justin said,pointing to the horse.By now,the horse already kicked Justin in the balls and ran off."Awww,shit...Ouch.."

"SHIT!THERE GOES DINNER!"Shouted Siegfried,giving the run away horse the finger.

"Look at the bright side,"Sarah said."If we get hungry,we're going to eat you first!After all,you're the biggest!

All of a sudden,the air became very dry,and the ground shriveled up.Part of the 12 miles to get to Jurakudai Villa was going through a desert.And all that they had to drink were the bottles of herbal essences.

Siegfreed screeched."I'M NOT GIVING UP THE HERBAL ESSENCES!"

"I'm not going to let you guys take the herbal essences from him!"Kara shouted,blocking Sarah and Justin from reaching Siegfried.

"Do you want us to die,Kara!That's all we can live off of!"Sarah tried to desperately push Kara out the way,but Kara wouldn't budge.

Then Siegfried pointed over in back of Sarah and Justin."Look!An oasis!"

Everyone turned around.Sarah squinted a little and said,"Bullshit,that's a mirage."By the time she said that,Siegfried was already running over.

"NOW I CAN WASH MY HAIR!"He shouted,running toward the oasis.

We got over to what Siegfried had saw.

"Oh,shit,that really is an oasis."Kara said.watching Siegfried jump playfully into the water,splashing it on his hair.

Justin was already in."Yeah,but what are we going to drink?"He said,standing in the water.

Everyone sighed and got really upset.Then Kara perked up."I got an idea!Let's empty out the Herbal Essences,and put the water inside of all of the bottles!

"Okay!"Everyone said,and began to pour the bottles into the water."Wait!You're not supposed to put shampoo in water or else-"

"Look!We can have a bubble bath!"Shouted Siegfried,playing in the now bubbly water.

"NOOOOOOO!Now we literally have nothing to drink!LITERALLY!"Kara was running around screaming.Then,Voldo began to walk by and looked at the bubbly oasis and jumped for joy.He climbed over to the pond as we all stared at him.He jumped inside and started eating the bubbles.

All of a sudden,Voldo started gagging and holding his neck."Is he choking?"Sarah said,looking a little worried.

"No,he's just lost his voice,"Justin said,videotaping the whole thing.Then Siegfried jumped over to the dying Voldo."YOU BASTARD,YOU'RE EATING MY HERBAL ESSENCES!"And Siegfried started stabbing him in his throat.But because Soul Calibur's so big,he cut his face in half.Then Kara came out of nowhere and shouted,

"WAAAH,THE HERBAL ESSENCES EATER!"And started dunking him under the water.

"Kara,he's already dead."

"Oh.You know,he's half naked.Can we cover him?"Kara said.This guy was no Siegfried.He is not hot.Anyway...

The group eventually got to Jurakudai Villa.Sitting in the middle of the battle stage from Soul Calibur 3,was a dark girl wearing a kimono.

"Setsuka,did you get a REALLY big tan?"Kara said,as the girl got up.

"I'm not Setsuka.I'm Keyonna.Setsuka told me to watch the place while she gets high with Mitsurugi."

Sarah looked at Kara and looked back at Keyonna."Uhh...doesn't she hate Mitsurugi?"

Siegfried was not in the mood."Okay,can we go now?Are you joining the party or not?"After all,some half naked bastard just ate the remains of his Herbal Essences,AND he dumped all of the bottles before it into a pool of water,without getting any water to drink.Hell,I'm sure you'd be pissed too.And now I'm sure you're nodding your head yes.

"Oh,yeah..."Kara said.She put her hands on her hips and pointed at Keyonna."Keyonna!I want you to be on my party!"

"What the fuck do you think this is?Pokemon?"Keyonna had said.

"JUST HURRY UP AND ANSWER THE QUESTION!"Siegfried had shouted out of nowhere.Siegfried never shouts unless it has to do with Herbal Essences.Well...this one sorta did have to do with it..but...

"Okay,I wanna join the party!"Then Keyonna ran over to the group and gave Kara a high five.

Then,out of the darkness of the night,came Tira.

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**TrulySheena:The next chapter is the last chapter!**

**PotoSynthesis:What is with you and five chapters?**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:YAY!I'm in the chapter!**

**KillerKomedy:That oasis was cool.**

**Sheelosluver 12345:Yeah!I wonder what's going to happen with Tira...CAN WE KICK HER AGAIN?**

**The-Assassin-Sheena:Why do you want to kick Tira so much?**

**applegell:Ya...why?**

**TrulySheena:Well...long story.BUT!We will see what happens to her in the one and only last chapter,CHAPTER 5!**

**Siegfried:See you then.**


	5. Stars in the Sky,Never to Die

**TrulySheena:OMG!It's the last chapter!!**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:Oh noooo!!!**

**AnimeGirl51:Yay!Finally,you're working on fanfictions again!!**

**Sheelosluver 12345:This is the last fanfiction that I'm going to be in,isn't it...?**

**KillerKomedy:Yup,but we might still be in Author's Notes!!**

**SheelosLuver 12345:Oh...hey,where are the other 3 people who are usually here?**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:Hmmm...I dunno.**

**TrulySheena:NOOOO!!!!!GELLY AND T-A-S HAVE DISAPPEARED!!!!!!**

**KillerKomedy:Don't worry,they'll show up.**

**AnimeGirl51:Let's start the story already!I gotta go beat Tales of the Abyss!**

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_"I'm in a party with Kara,_

_Siegfried,Justin,and Sarah!"_

"STOP SINGING THAT GODDAMN RHYME!!"Shouted Siegfried towards Keyonna.It seemed like everyone liked having Keyonna on the party besides Siegfried.She kept things optimistic.But how can Siegfried be optimistic when there is no Herbal Essences around?

_We're going to fight Abyss soon._Kara thought while Keyonna was teasing Siegfried about his hair._We're going to get Soul Edge out of me,but...what will happen after?_

"Hey,Kara!!Hold on a Sec!"Justin shouted.Kara didn't realize she was walking ahead of the gang."Sarah got some drinks,so we should spend the night here before we go to fight Abyss!!"

Kara smiled and ran back towards the party,which were all sitting under a huge tree.

"Let's sing campfire songs!"Keyonna said,striking her katana against a tree."DAMMIT!! THE TREE'S FALLING IN HALF INSTEAD OF LIGHTING UP!"

Kara stared up at the sky.Siegfried looked over at her while Justin pulled out a box of matches."Siegfried,"She said.

He walked over and sat next to her.

"Why do stars disappear when the sun comes up?Where do they go...?"Kara didn't remove her gaze from the dotted sky.

"I don't know where they go."In back of them,Justin threw one of his matches into the bottle of alchohol and then the tree blew up."I do know that they come back by the time the sun rises."

She pointed up to the sky as a star disappeared."I'm going to be like one of those...right?"Sarah was freaking out about the fire while Justin and Keyonna threw alchohol into the fire to try to drown the flames.Of course,the fire got bigger.

"What do you mean 'Like one of those'?"Siegfried didn't dare glance back at the burning meadow nor think about herbal essences.This was too serious.

Kara looked at him and forced a smile,even though her tears were obviously welling up."Forget it,it's nothing."

Silence followed...

Until-

"IM BURNING!!! IM BURNING!!!"

Kara and Siegfried turned around to see the familiar hula-hoop-wielding chick,Tira.Her clothes had caught on fire while she was running past to come attack the gang.

"Quick!Let's help her!"Keyonna and Justin threw alchohol on Tira who burst into flames.

"NOOOOO!!!MY DRINKS!!!" Sarah shouted.For some reason,she didn't notice that Tira on fire along with the meadow were the cause of her drinks.

Kara ran from where she had been sitting and rescued Tira from the fire (No,we don't know how).

"KARA,ARE YOU ON CRACK?!YOU HATE TIRA!"Everyone shouted.

"No!Even though Tira's my competition,I can't hate her for loving someone!Because no one can control love and what it does to us."Tira looked up at Kara,extremely surprised.

"Awww,man! I was going to sing a song because she was dead!"Keyonna said,sighing.Everyone looked at her.

"Not another song!!"Siegfried whined.What was with him and hating songs??Anyway...

_Oohh...The weather outside is frightful!_

_But the fire's so delightful!_

_And since they're's no place to go..._

_Let Tira go,Let Tira go,Let Tira go!_

"And that's the song!"Keyonna beamed.She loved making songs about the weirdest things...

"Really,though,Kara.Why would you let Tira live?We really thought you hated her." Justin wiped off the ashes from his shirt while pointing at Tira,who stuck her tongue out at him.

Sarah was just staring around,looking at everyone.Wondering what was going on,she said, "Kara,why are YOU holding Tira??"

"Because..."She closed her eyes and smiled."I want her to have Siegfried after tomorrow."

Everyone stayed silent,until it hit them."WHAT?!?!" And they went on and on about how crazy she must be.Then Keyonna started singing.Everyone was so loud that none of their words made sense because they were all talking.Then everyone quieted down and we heard Tira saying,

"Blahblahblahblahblahblahblah-What?I just wanted to fit in."So we all camped out together that night,telling stories of what happened before we met each other.

"Okay Keyonna,it's your turn now."Siegfried passed Keyonna some marshmallows.

"Well,it all started when Setsuka and Mitsurugi went out for drinks one day.Setsuka came home the next day yelling ' OMG MY FIRST HANGOVER' and 'OMG I FUCKED MITSURUGI' and she kept on bitchin' and bitchin' about how hairy he is.So when you guys came,they went out arguing as usual about who's going to take care of their kid,and ended up getting high."

"Wait,wait,wait,wait,WAIT! They have a kid?!"Sarah and Justin both were very surprised.Kara was too busy dazing off into the sky,and Tira was eating cold marshmallows.

"Well,it's imaginary,but still...I've never been drunk and/or high,but I'm sure you guys know what it's like."Justin stared at her.

"You've never been drunk and/or high!Omg,I remember I had an imaginary orgasm."He starting rubbing his chin and thinking about it.

Sarah slapped him on his back and started laughing."No Justin,that was real.Remember?We recorded the first time we went out for drinks.Amy was with us!"

While the whole group was laughing and hanging,Kara was still watching the stars blank out one by one.It was becoming early morning,and no one had known the fate that was waiting for Kara at the Lost Cathedral,except Kara herself.They all went to sleep until about 12:00 PM,and they set out for the Lost Cathedral.Seperating paths with Tira,she blew Siegfried a kiss.

"See you tonight,babe!"And she ran off,weeheehee-ing all the way home.

Siegfried groaned and we headed to the Lost Cathedral.There we saw Zasalamel.,who had recently finished off Nightmare.

"Abyss!Reveal your true form,and we shall kill you to free her from Soul Edge!"Siegfried's voice echoed throughout the church,along with our footsteps.

Justin came out of nowhere (it's Justin,what do you expect?Hahaha,just kidding Justin) with his usual goofiness and said."Did you just tell a bitch to reveal her true form??That's hard,you know..."

Zasalamel pulled out a very familiar,reddish-liquid filled bottle."This bottle will be your end!"

Siegfried gasped."The legendary bottle of Herbal Essences with Potpourri,Rose Extract,Lily,and Iris Protein!Flower Scented!!ONLY ON EBAY!!!"

Sadly,Zasalamel was stupid,and didn't realize that Siegfried would've killed him TWICE for that bottle.

Now here comes the graphic scene...

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Now Siegfried was kicking Zasalamel's dead body."And...that was for bidding higher than me!"

Everyone sighed and Kara smiled.This would be the last time she would see Siegfried over Herbal Essences like this.Now,She had to tell everyone.A secret so horrible that the Herbal Essences would gasp.

She approached so silently and so quietly that it seemed the echoes were getting louder.She held his hand softly.Siegfried stopped kicking Zasalamel's body and turned around.She stared straight into his eyes and he froze in his place.Her eyes were welling up,but no tears fell.No tears ever fell,because she had known that this whole adventure was to only bring her to this moment.

"Siegfried..."She sighed and held in her tears,even though her voice was still cracking."The only way to get Soul Edge out of me is if...if Soul Calibur kills me."

Everyone stared wide-eyed.Was Kara crazy??She loves Siegfried,but enough to let him kill her?It was his sword!

"Are you crazy??I wouldn't kill you,Kara!After this journey,I wouldn't ever think of hurting you!"

"It's alright.I...I don't mind.Please...I promise,you'll see me again after this.Even though I won't remember you,I promised I'll see you again.Promise."Everyone was quiet because none of them had known what to say.Kara was their friend,and they wouldn't want Siegfried,of all people,to kill her.

"Kara,I'm sorry,I won't-"

Her blood flashed across his face and his body.Blood already passing through her body onto the white marble,her beloved friends running towards her,trying not to believe she killed herself.She had pulled his hands along with the sword and thrust it through her chest.In an instant,someone they all loved had died.

Kara had died.

By her lover's hands.

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It had been so lonely without Kara.Siegfried had realized how quiet his life was without her.What had taken Siegfried so long to fall in love with her?Now he had regret saying everything to her that had made her sad on the inside,even though she didn't show it._I've said so much more mean things to her than kind,and she still persisted to love me..._

Siegfried was in the Lakeside Coliseum.He did not like coming here since Kara died,but he received a letter from each and every one of his friends,telling him that they all heard a rumor that they wanted to all check out._Why would they want to go today?_He had thought._The Coliseum's closed._But now he was here,waiting for his friends.He went to the main coliseum that the tournaments were held at,and he saw Keyonna,Justin,and Sarah crowded around one audience chair.

"What are you all looking at?It's just one chair-"He stared at the figure who smiled at him from the chair.Walking over to the person,he realized it was a girl,about the same age as Kara was.

"What are you doing?"

"Why are you here?"

"How long have you been here?"

Keyonna,Justin,and Sarah asked her incessantly.Siegfried didn't sense any Soul Edge lingering from her body.Did her death honestly save her?Or is this just someone else?

Siegfried kneeled down so he was at her face level.His newly grown hair had hung over his face,and he spoke quietly to her.

"Tell me,why are you here by yourself?It's cold and the weather's not so nice."

She smiled at him and put her hands atop her heart.

"I've been looking for someone who I met here a long,long time ago.He loved to come here,so I'm waiting for him here,even if it takes forever.But I can barely make out his face,his voice,or why I don't remember anything,except his name-Siegfried.I know if I can find Siegfried,he can tell me everything that I've forgotten.I know that he'll tell me everything because I...I love him."

He softly held her hands and a thought flashed through her head.Images of Siegfried flashed through her head,and it helped her realize this-the man in front of her is Siegfried himself.She threw her arms around him and tears welled up in her eyes once again,but never falling from her eyes.

"I can't believe it's really you...I'm going to tell you everything,like you wanted because-"

"Kara,I love you."

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**TrulySheena:Yaaayyy!!I'm so happy .**

**AnimeGirl51:So Siegfried finally told Kara how he felt!Well,gotta go,Tales of the Abyss is waiting!**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:YOU LIED TO ME!!**

**TrulySheena:What?**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:You didn't end a comedy fanfiction funny!**

**TrulySheena:Ummm...It's also romance...plus,it's my fanfic.**

**KillerKomedy:Hahaha,I'm so random.**

**SheelosLuver 12345:Me and Justin barely did AND said anything in this chappie...**

**TrulySheena:If you don't notice,the title says "Siegfried and I".I think it would make sense if it was only about Siegfried and me.Well,before we go,we found a letter from applegell and The-Assassin-Sheena!It says that they're on vacation,playing Tales of the Abyss.What is with so many Tales fans being in my Author's Notes??**

**CrescentAxeMaiden:Well,we ALL like Tales in here,so does it matter?**

**TrulySheena:Nope,but thank you all for reading my fanfiction "Siegfried and I"!I'm sorry for those who had to wait the couple of months for this chapter because I've been very busy!I'm sorry!Thank you for reading !**


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